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Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Whisperer!

Your not Happy…Im not happy I know you must not remind me … Your pretending yes im pretending but can we keep it between us two…. Ok now am just being silly . I cant actually be talking to the wind? It looks like she is finally loosing it. Cause there’s no way she can be talking to the wind I tell myself then I hear a cruel loud laughter from no where then my heart skipped a bit… what is happening to me am I going crazy?
Then for a Millisecond I thought what if all this is real those this mean I am supernatural?
Then I closed my eyes and wished all this terrifying voice would just let me be and go away. I turned to look at the people around me they were all laughing to something funny my friend was telling us. I smiled so It wouldn’t sound like I didn’t get joke which I really didn’t get? Then again the voice came louder and louder near me I was panicking . I excused myself politely from the crowd then I sat down at the bench facing the school basketball court looking at the tall Asian guys play their game. I watched how happy they were playing the game. Then it happened again I felt the silence deep inside and something echoing behind me only this time around I didn’t get a word out of the mysterious voice. it sounded like a child babbling words . Then I stood up to look at my back I still couldn’t find that mysterious thing whispering in my ears. I called my mum to talk to her about it but just when I was about to explain my experience the line went off . I got butterflies in my stomach started sweating and was breathing heavily .My heart was basically in my mouth! No one could see the fear in my eyes. I tried to shout but I could only do that mentally not physically so I ran to a secluded area and tried crying but the tears couldn’t slip out. Then again the voice came out this time around loud and clear . Though your blind I see that your not deaf I get what your going through I don’t have answers but I understand it. They wont see it even if you blurt it out to them. Then the tears started dripping down my cheeks I had no energy to run anymore the only option I had left was to face that mysterious voice whispering into my ears. I opened my lips and asked with my shaky voice what are you? It was silent
Why me? You need a new beginning …Leave me alone Don’t you want someone that understands you NO. I beg of you leave me in peace then get ready to face reality then for some minutes the place was quite ordinarily I should have felt relieved but the only thing I felt was my heart beating fast and me needing air to breath. I was suffocating seriously but no one was there to lend an helping hand. I managed to regain a little energy then I ran walked straight into a friend . I held his hand tightly and didn’t say a word all I wanted was just some physical contact with the real world to know to confirm I wasn’t dreaming! `
O did the wind just talk to me? I’m still looking for possible excuses to explain what just happened to me. In a state of confusion right now.
To be continued

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A reply to ma X

The reason behind this post was cause I received a disturbing text from my Ex boyfriend today and I just had to rant this out. Well to sum up the whole story he sent me a message saying he was sorry blah blah and he wanted us to come back well if it were three months back I would willing say YES there’s no doubt about that but right now it was just the perfect timing. So I decided to give him royal treatment by replying his sweet message in a perfect way. Where else would be perfect if not on my blog?
I cant believe the stupid things people do when they get heart broken . I actually did some stupid stuffs too but they all lead me to the right part. I was so heart broken and was looking for answers to why it all happened that way . While on the quest of searching for answer I came across this site which said 10 rules to get your Ex back…Boy was I stupid to think I really wanted you back . And now reading through the rules today I just realized I broke most of the rules and by that I guess it made me stronger Thank God for that!
So what are these rules?
1. Resist blaming your ex boyfriend.
I so did not resist that in fact I blamed him for the most stupid things. I had sleepless nights sulking over him. For Christ sake who else am I to blame if not you. Yes I know all my friends thought it was immature of me to blame him for all that happened but then blaming him made me feel better in a selfish way and then I got fond of blaming him till I really believed it was all his fault not mine and I was a lot better without him!
2.Don't just shower him with love to get him back.
Well unfortunately I did the opposite. I called him up like 12 times a day. I even allowed a friend convince me to call and tell him I wanted us back together and I missed him. Cause at that point I really did and yes he did what any normal guy would do he replied in a cold hearted manner. Then again it hit me hard that mehn this dude really isn’t into you no more but love makes you do stupid things so I just didn’t give up that easily!
3. Desperation kills attraction.
You can tell me that again well this rule I like I did break this rule I wish I had abided but unfortunately I didn’t. I left him zillions of voice mails and even posted a picture of me and a sexy dude on facebook just to make him jealous.. Did it work.? Yes it did but well at the end it was too late for that!
4. Don't stalk or bug his friends and family.
Well you obviously know that rule didn’t apply I called his elder sister and his best buddies a thousand times and like normal family and friends would do they kept assuring me or deceiving me that it was just a phase and everything would be alright ..well to think about everything is ALRIGHT!
5. Analysis what went wrong in the relationship.
Well I did and nothing went wrong cause as matter of fact it was meant to be … And I’m just great full it happened the way it did!
6.Bring back the best qualities about him
All I needed was to remember the reason we are not more together and would never be . He was a scumbag, cheat, Liar, Promise breaker and flirty masculine ho! To think of it he wasn’t that much of a smooth criminal cause he didn’t get away with everything.
7. Jot down in a notepad all the pros and cons of your relationship.
Well I didn’t have the energy and time for that !
8. Understand this won't be forever.
I actually thought the pain would last forever. Now I can say thumbs up 2 that rule yeah I’m pain free.
9. Don't put your life on hold for him.
Well I did .. I couldn’t concentrate and I almost made the most important mistake of my life but thank God I have a mother that wont let that happen!
10. Do some improving.
That rule I love cause I have done a lot of improving!
Now my reply to that message would be this
Dear X
Well its been a while since we broke up! Yes i wont deny the fact that you made me stronger by breaking my heart.There’s nothing wrong in you thinking I’m not over you so you can go ahead like Regine Velasquez said there’s nothing wrong in make believe so you can believe whatever you want to. I have you to thank again cause right now this heart is a stone; no one else will break it! I have got an offer for you though.
You could be my BAD BOY but then again I would have to warn you on that cause i would push you aside after some time. Unfortuantely thats the best i can offer. So watcha say?
Karma is such a bitch right? Alright gtg .... now dancing to I don’t need a man by PCD!!!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Stuffs im seriously into Right now

Well i know its been ages since i last blurted out anything concerning my life.
I assure you that there's a perfect explanation for that but that would be for another post!
I am on a break right now. The Chinese New year break. If you know Malaysia very well you would know that its a country that has public holidays like twice in every month which is like a huge advantage for me. Well as of these moment im taking a break out from the stuffs i love doing to report the stuffs that have actually occupied my time w to write a new post even though i've got plenty of drafts that needs to be posted out!
Actually this week was madness that's all i can say about this week.. it was the complete opposite of last week.. Last week i had too many tests and assignment to sum it up i was clouded with course work and all sorts But this week is a stress free week :) ...

. 90210( Series): i finally got the strength to watch season 3 up to episode 12 yay! me..but seriously i think silver fits better with ted...And Navid should seriously forget bout that silly Adriana cos shes such a bitch and i actually sulked when Dixon and his foster mum reconciled. Well the season started out sad but at the end off part twelve they finally saw the devil in Jen!

. Castle (Series) : i just love the whole idea i just started watching it but all i want to see is castle and detective Kate Beckett get make out!i know there's a chemistry somewhere lmao!

. Royal Pain (series) : well i just started watching this yesterday but im already @ the tenth episode i actually love it just course it makes medicine look sexy! reminds me of mc steamy in Grey's anatomy!

. Valentines day (Movie) : speaking of MC STEAMY...that movie wasn't up to my expectation cause it had all the very good Hollywood actors and Taylor Swift was in it.! The part i loved so much was the part were Queen Latifa was having her phone sex convo and then she blurted out KNEEL DOWN TO IZINGA! I just couldn't hold myself in the cinema i Laughed really hard! Well its a good movie to watch when your down! Just didn't get the whole Jessica Alba part??

. Cooked ( Some thing i don't usually do) : Spaghetti Marsala and it turned out nice :)
. 14th February ( The day) : yea every freaking girl or dude i knew acted like that was the only day allowed to show love to their partner ..i mean guys chill its just a silly day and love is an everyday affair..Unfortunately the ones that had high expectation on that day were lead down one way or another. But as for me i didn't expect anything but at the end i had mad fun. Went for a friends party and had a blast! Then i ended up talking with 0 for like 42 minutes and had hot Milo and slept for Good twelve hours!!
Too bad now i have chronic bad ache
THATS THE END FOR THIS WEEK GTG AND ENJOY SOME NEW ADVENTURES :)